The labor timeline... a Husband's commentary.

O.k. Now that Kim and I have made it through our first night at home with Gwen, I have a chance to give the play-by-play...

Tuesday 1415...
Kim calls my work stating she is having contractions. She's not too worried about it and when I ask her if I should come home, Kim tells me that she will call me about 3 o'clock after they have been able to monitor the contractions for a full hour.

Of course with this, I realize I have only ~ 45-min to clear up several loose ends. I immediately send out a couple of emails, and run around my office trying to delegate what needs to be done.

Tuesday 1430...
Mark, from my office, runs back to my area and states that Kim called the front office stating that it would be a good idea if I came home. I send off a quick email to my home email account (so I can do some work at home) and I speed home...

Tuesday 1445...
Kim is loaded into the car and we are on our way. We get to the hospital and are sent into a delivery room for 'observations.' At this point Kim's contractions are ~5-min apart and 1.5-min long. On the scale from 1 to 10, Kim says the pain level is about a 5. After the exam, its determined that Kim is 1-cm dilated, 80% effaced. Still a long way to go... During the next three hours, Kim and I try various techniques to help with the labor. We sit on a 'labor ball' in the shower (really just an exercise ball,) we dance around the maternity ward (yes, thanks mom and dad, your dance lessons helped quite a bit,) and we walk around the hospital.

Tuesday 1800...
The mid-wife comes in, examines Kim (still 1-cm but now 90% effaced) and tells us there is no reason for us to stay and that we would be better off and more comfortable at home... So we pack up our things and depart the hospital. After a good dinner (thanks Vicki and Morgan,) a bath, more dancing and breathing exercises in our bed, the pain has grown to a 7... so we pack some more things and again depart for the hospital.

Tuesday 2200...
There's a cliché about being stopped by the cops on the way to the hospital. Well that cliché became a reality when going about 65/70 in a 55 we got stopped. I'm not proud of the fact that I know this, but cops will take upwards of 10-min calling in your license plate; and I was not about to wait ten-minutes to tell the cop we're in labor... So, I did the only thing I could think of and that was to get out of my car and approach the cop car with my hands in clear sight. The cop didn't like this, and he kept yelling 'get back in your car!' to which I would respond 'my wife is in labor.' After yelling 'I don't care,' it was obvious he was never going to talk reasonably until I return to my car, which I did, begrudgingly. He approached the car and lecture me on the fact that I am not an emergency vehicle and if it was truly an emergency that I should have called an ambulance. He then proceeded to slam my car door and return to his vehicle... not saying another word. He turned off his lights and sped away. I turned to Kim and said some not so nice things before resuming our journey to the hospital.

Once at the hospital, Kim is told that she is only 2-cm dilated, 95% effaced and a -3cm... we still have a long way to go. We are again admitted for observations... and after four more hours of dancing, showering and breathing, Kim has not progressed. The mid-wife gives the nurse orders (over the phone) to release us, but the nurse takes pity on Kim (who's contractions are now 7/8 level) and allows us to stay.

Wednesday 0400...
After an examination, Kim is now 4-cm dilated, and according to the mid-wife, we are 'officially' in labor. I know there are several nurses/mid-wifes that read this blog, but this 4-cm rule is hogwash. I saw my wife in the worst pain in her life and they wouldn't classify her being in labor even though her contractions were regular and were lasting 2-3 minutes/contractions. So, regardless of what the medical types say, the labor started at 1315 Tuesday. Anyway, so with the 4-cm dilation, Kim was officially admitted. The next 7-hours were spent dancing, showering with the birthing ball, etc... During that time Kim's contractions averaged ~ 3-min and were about 5-min apart with the intensity about a 9/10. All of this was for naught as Kim gained just one cm of dilation.

Wednesday 1200...
With Kim still at 5-cm after 7-hours of hard-hard labor, enough was enough, so Kim called for the epidural. After enduring several 10-level contractions while being hunched over with an anesthesiologist shoving a 5-inch long needle into here spine, the epidural was in... Then the doctor ruptured her bag of waters... Everyone all hoped this would relax Kim and allow little Gwen to become further engaged... Of course nothing was going to be easy during this labor, and of course while the epidural deadened Kim on her right side, she could still feel pain (albeit at a 4/5 pain level) on her left. Taking the nurse's advise, Kim laid on her left side... the theory was the medication would run down to this side and even out over her body. This was not the case, but Kim remained in this position until complaining to the nurse at 2000...

Wednesday 2000...
Kim complained about the pain in her left side. A new nurse recommended she lay flat on her back. Finally something worked and Kim felt numb. Soon she would fall asleep for an hour.

Wednesday 2100...
Kim's pain, now deadened, led to her being able to relax and meant she was now 7-cm, 100% effaced, and a -1. Progress was being made... finally. After this latest exam, Kim and I enjoyed (yes enjoyed) a good episode of Lost, and caught ~ 15-min of sleep. Finally at about 2330, Kim got the urge to push.

Wednesday 2330...
Kim's urge to push was greeted with great delight by myself and the nursing staff (and of course, most of all Kim.) At 2330, Kim was examined by the mid-wife who proclaimed we're ready (10-cm, 100% effaced, +2) and started to coach Kim in pushing. While one nurse held Kim's left leg, I held the right and the mid-wife was in the catchers position. Slowly but surely Kim and Gwen made progress... Kim's abnormally long contractions gave her the opportunity to push 4-times/contraction (as apposed to the standard 3-times)... and soon I got the first sight of Gwen's black hair. Kim pushed and pushed for upwards of an hour but then the mid-wife stated that an episiotomy was necessary... follow this link for more info http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/childbirth/165.html.

Although not really given a choice in the matter, Kim went along with it. In keeping with the theme of this labor, the episiotomy caused Kim to tear... nearly a 4th degree laceration (tearing everything from the vagina to the anus) was the result. The good news, at 0037 Thursday morning Gwen was out, a beautiful baby girl weighing 8lbs 12ozs and 20 inches long who instantly pooped on Mommy. For the next hour+ while I helped the nurses cleanup little Gwen, the doctor was called in to attend to Kim. Finally Kim was able to sit up, so I brought Gwen in... and instantly she went to breast. Gwen stayed the remainder of the night in our room, only getting up a couple of times to feed/be changed.

The Husband's perspective...
Everything I've ever heard about labor and child birth should have conditioned me for the hardship Kim went through, but until you witness it, nothing can do it justice. Many men cry during childbirth, and I will gladly admit that I joined the ranks. After witnessing such an amazing event (both for its grandeur and for its intensity) I don't know how anyone could ever question the existence of a higher being. For lack of a better word, it was awesome.

The amount of pain that Kim went through was awe-inspiring, and the experience made me love her more than I ever knew possible. I know our lives will "never be the same..." but I am eternally great full for this. I have witnessed the crowning moment in my life, and Kim will forever be closer.

For all the 'problems' with the labor, the nurses were terrific. I do wish Kim was consulted prior to the episiotomy as I think the tearing was directly caused by this. Perhaps a massage of her membrane to stretch it out would have worked... perhaps she should have allowed to tear naturally... but all of this cannot take away from the birth of our child.

Today, after day one at home, our lives have changed, for the better... and we eagerly await the ride.